Risky: Journal entry in narrative?

[airrade]

Folks, I'm currently working on a story I intend to submit for Altered Europa. I thought I'd ask the advice of the existing Martinus Publishing alumni about an element of the story.

I'm going to need to be quiet about the exact particulars of the story until it's finished and submitted.  For now, I will say the story is set in Europe just after WWII. Being alternate history, some key events of the War went very differently to the actual history.  I'm trying to explain a little of what went differently to the reader.  

The story is told from the POV of an historical figure. This historical figure has limited time and resources available to him, but nevertheless decides to put on paper a bit of a list of what went wrong, from his perspective, about the War. (That is, the divergences from actual history).  At the moment, I'm planning on putting the list (essentially a journal entry) smack-bang in the middle of the narrative.  He's fairly certain his list is never going to be read by anyone sympathetic to his cause. He's doing it more to pass the time and for his own personal closure, than writing for an audience.

Thoughts I've had already about it:

• Remember to 'show, don't tell'.
• Avoid it being overly didactic or reading like a history lesson.
• Use personal commentary and the language of the historical figure, similar to his dialogue, so it continues to develop his character, and looks like it could authentically be written by him.  Make it engaging and relate-able.
• Limit its length to a few key events. Avoid boring or bogging-down the reader. The journal entry is a brief aside, then get back to the regularly-scheduled prose.

Any other comments or advice? Don't forget to vote in the poll. 

Thanks! 

[writermccall]

It all depends on how you write it. I've seen writing from alternate history in this style, done very well and done bland and boring

[airrade]

Thanks for the input, McCall!

My story is at the draft and proof-reading stage. None of the proof-readers so far have said that the journal section is boring, but they're all nice folks.

I limited it to three "turning point" events in the War before the character decides to stop writing the list. The first two events have some differences that history buffs will recognize. The third is described as it happened. Then, yeah, back to the story.

>_>

[airrade]

It's now been submitted! 'The Public Execution of Winston Churchill'